Navigating the Murky Waters of Dating Apps: Is He Really Single?

In the ever-evolving landscape of modern dating, dating apps have emerged as a beacon of hope for singles searching for love. Yet, amidst the swipes and matches, a new challenge has crept in, transforming these platforms into a playground for serial cheaters.

I have first hand experience of this one. My marriage disintegrated after discovering my husband had been using dating apps to casually cheat for the entirety of our relationship.

So, let’s dive into exactly how we spot the men that are married or taken and are masquerading as single men. 

It’s a harsh truth that a significant number of married men have turned to dating apps to seek affairs outside their marriage. While exact statistics are hard to pin down, reports and surveys have consistently highlighted this troubling trend. The anonymity and ease of access offered by these platforms provide a perfect cover for those looking to stray.

5 Signs He Might Be Married or in a Relationship

1. Guarded Schedule: If he’s only available during odd hours or has a very rigid, unchangeable schedule, it might be because he’s balancing a family life alongside his escapades.

2. Limited Accessibility: When he’s hesitant to share personal details like his full name, where he lives, or his social media profiles, it’s a red flag. Married men often keep these details under wraps to avoid getting caught.

3. Communication Blackouts: Notice if there are periods where he goes completely silent, especially on weekends or holidays. This could be when he’s spending time with his family.

4. No Public Outings: If your meet-ups are always in secluded or private places, ask yourself why. Is it because he’s avoiding the risk of being seen by someone he knows?

5. Vague or Inconsistent Information: Pay attention to the details he shares about his life. If his stories don’t add up or he’s vague about his living situation, it could be a cover-up.

Pro-tip: If you NEVER go back to his place then almost certainly he’s hiding something. He will spin all sorts of elaborate tales as to why he cant have you over, and the advice is the same every time: RUN

Conducting Your Due Diligence

In this digital age, a little sleuthing can go a long way in protecting your heart and your time. Here are some steps to take:

• Social Media Deep Dive: Start with a search on major social media platforms. No presence or a very private profile might warrant further investigation.

• Google Is Your Friend: A simple Google search with his name and city can reveal a lot. Look for any public records or news articles.

• Ask Direct Questions: Don’t shy away from asking direct questions about his relationship status, living situation, and past. His reactions and responses can be very telling.

• Trust Your Gut: If something feels off, it probably is. Listen to your intuition.

• Reverse Image Search: Use a reverse image search tool like Google Images or TinEye. Upload a photo of him to see if it appears elsewhere online, possibly revealing a hidden social media profile or even a family life.

To Tell the Significant Other or Not

Discovering that your date is married presents a moral dilemma: should you inform their partner? This decision is deeply personal and fraught with complexity. Consider the potential fallout, your motivations, and the consequences for all involved. Proceed with caution, empathy, and respect for everyone’s privacy and well-being.

In my situation I am forever grateful to the woman who ‘dropped the dime’ on my partner. It was painful but if she hadn’t done it then I would probably still be blissfully unaware. Investing more years, risking my sexual health and being played for a fool.

A word of caution: not every woman will be grateful for the information.

What to Do If You Discover He’s Married or Attached

1. Confront Him: It’s okay to seek closure by confronting him. However, prioritize your safety and emotional well-being when doing so.

2. Cut Off Contact: Once you’ve got the answers you need, it’s crucial to cut off contact. Continuing the relationship only leads to more harm.

3. Seek Support: Turn to friends, family, or even online forums and communities for support. You’re not alone, and sharing your story can be incredibly healing.

4. Report If Necessary: If you met him on a dating app, consider reporting his profile to protect other users.

5. Reflect and Heal: Take time to reflect on the experience and focus on your healing. Remember, his actions are a reflection of him, not you.

In the world of dating apps, arm yourself with caution but don’t let go of hope. Yes, there are cheaters hidden among genuine seekers, but your savvy and wisdom are your best filters. Keep swiping, keep learning, and remember: for every wrong swipe, you’re one step closer to the right match. Your adventure in love is just a right swipe away.