Five Reasons to Rethink Coffee as a First Date

Let’s be honest, coffee dates have become the go-to option for a first date. They’re easy, low-pressure, and convenient. But perhaps that’s the very reason men shouldn’t suggest them and why we, as women, shouldn’t accept them.

I’ve done my fair share of dating and have routinely declined the ‘coffee date’.

Here are my top 5 reasons why I think coffee for a first date sucks:

1.   Transactional and Formulaic 

Coffee dates are often seen as transactional, a tool to ‘screen out’ rather than forge a meaningful connection. They’re a low barrier to entry for men: low effort, low cost. The thought of being just one of many in a week at a Starbucks feels incredibly mundane and impersonal. A unique or thoughtful date setting demonstrates a commitment beyond the numbers game.

2.    Low Effort May Reflect Low Interest

While practical, a coffee date often requires minimal effort and planning. This simplicity can unfortunately come across as a lack of interest or commitment to the date. A first date is an opportunity to make a memorable impression, and a lack of effort in planning might set a tone of indifference.

 3.    The Implications of a Cheap Date

While the cost of a date shouldn’t be the sole focus, choosing the cheapest option can sometimes send the wrong message. It might indicate a reluctance to invest - not just financially, but in terms of time and emotional effort. A more special date doesn’t have to break the bank, but choosing something that requires a bit more investment can show genuine interest and willingness to make an effort.

4.    Creating a Barrier to Casual Dating

Opting for a slightly more exclusive or unique date can act as a barrier to casual, non-committal meet-ups. It filters out those who are not serious about the dating process, ensuring that both parties are more invested in the experience.

5.    Lack of Romance

A coffee shop, with its casual and everyday atmosphere, lacks the elements of romance and excitement that can spark a deeper connection. First dates should give you butterflies, and as a girl’s girl, I kind of want to throw on a dress and heels. That might not go down so well at the local Starbucks.

In conclusion, while coffee dates are undeniably convenient, they might not always be the best choice for those looking for a meaningful connection. Opting for a date that requires a bit more thought and effort can demonstrate seriousness and a desire to truly get to know someone. It’s about making that first meeting special and showing that it’s more than just 'one more date' on the weekly roster.